The Lonely Vegan – The Wannabe Eco Vegan

Becoming a vegan can be lonely, especially when people around you are still avid meat-eaters. I’ve felt very on my own, especially at the dinner table. Announcing to friends my lifestyle choice when out for a meal, only to be given that look like you’ve grown two heads. Having to explain to them why, and feeling very excluded from the dinner party all because I don’t consume animal products. It does tickle me when you hear people declare that they are animal lovers, only to go ahead then and eat a plate of cooked animal carcasses – gross! God forbid you offer them some vegan food, like it contains bogeys or some special ingredient that might turn you.

Thankfully though, two of my daughters are vegan, and one is vegetarian, but they don’t live at home anymore. So, I sort of have allies, but in my actual house, I’m on my own.

So, now you’re a lonely vegan, how do you enlist your nearest and dearest?

You can’t! If they want to, they’ll come to you.

Whether you’re talking to a fellow vegan or non-vegan, I find it’s best not to be too preachy, especially with the non-vegans. Let them come to you with questions rather than give a sermon. You’ll find people are more likely to be interested if you just tell them about your journey. It’s more likely to make people stop and think.

If you have a chance, cook a vegan meal. Show them how tasty nuts, seeds and vegetables can be. Let them know that we drink other liquids, not just water and we don’t just eat air! BBC Good Food has some really easy recipes here. Demonstrate a good vegan, cruelty-free product, and show that consumer items needn’t contain animal products to be good.

Finding like-minded vegans on social media

I have joined a couple of vegan Facebook pages, which can be quite informative. It’s nice to converse with like-minded people. As with any group, I have found that some members can be bullies, hiding behind their computer screen, targeting the vulnerable.

I’m afraid to admit that my family is right when they say that some vegans can be very judgmental. Some come across as arrogant. I remember seeing a post by a guy who had just turned vegan. He was very excited about some food products he’d bought to try. He proudly displayed photos of the food he’d cooked, only to have fellow vegans turn on him for not cooking from scratch. They were clearly anti-processed foods. Yeah, okay, so it wasn’t the healthiest of foods he’d cooked himself, but he was trying and in my view succeeding in the cause of veganism.

Anything is better than nothing, a step is a step forward. Being part of the vegan tribe is, I like to think, like being part of one big family. But, we still need to remember, that we are all individuals, with our own likes and choices.

I can’t understand why some vegans appear to think they are better than others. It really does give veganism a bad name.

I’m not saying at all that these social media pages aren’t good to join. There are a lot of good people out there with good advice on products, recipes, books, etc. There are also a lot of know-it-alls, ready to pounce and intimidate. My advice would be to either ignore people like this or unfollow the page altogether and try another that suits you. Overall, we vegans are generally a friendly bunch who care about the earth and the people on it. Though, as with any group, there are one or two rogues.

Videos promoted by social media

You may have heard that there are many YouTube and TikTok videos by animal rights campaigners. I see lots of these on social media. Some make for a hard watch. I call them Disney nasties (nothing to do with Disney at all by the way). Once you’ve seen them you can’t unwatch them. So, my advice is, if you’re of faint heart, which many animal lovers are, don’t be tempted to watch.

And if you’ve ever watched any of the horrific YouTube documentaries of factory farms, abattoirs, or general animal cruelty, don’t make a thing of showing them to others with the hope of converting them. Unless of course they express a want to see them. I know some people will say this is ignorance but believe me, friends and family will avoid you like the plague. If people want to see them let them decide that for themselves. I know it’s difficult. You’re excited, you’ve been enlightened. You want everyone else to know. People don’t take kindly to being pressured or cornered. After all, nobody likes to be told what to do.

If you want to watch an activist at work, YouTube videos by Ed Winters make for interesting viewing. His interviews are tame but thought-provoking. He’s very composed, quick and valid with his answers. Check out his convincing arguments by watching one of his videos here. Also, Menkay is a good one to follow on Facebook. His short videos are clever and very engaging.

Vegan activism

Unless it’s something you feel really strongly about doing, don’t ever be pressured into activism. You may do this because you want to belong, but you may make yourself a whole lot of trouble. You may not be up to the job mentally. Don’t ever be guilt-tripped into something you can’t handle.

By not consuming animals, either by eating or using them in products, you’re already doing good by not fuelling the machine.

I’m with you, but why can’t other people see it?

It’s a shame that society has been conditioned to feel nothing when eating meat. Most of us were brought up eating meat, but only a few of us have questioned why. We are favouring different species by keeping animals as pets but turning others into food.

I think you have a different view of the world once you see it. Those recent to the concept of veganism want to shout it from the rooftops and grab people by the scruff of the neck and scream ‘Why do you still eat meat?’ I know I’ve felt like that, many a time. It doesn’t win you many friends, and people stop listening to you. This is not the effect you want.

Be proud of who you are, and tell all if asked.

In all, spread the love wisely…